Drugs

I would have to say Drugs are the worst thing I could possibly do to my body.

I come home from work tonight and my parents are looking up Methamphetamine. Great huh. Anyways I am pretty pissed off at the moment, so I am sitting in my room typing this shit up and with Benjamin Button on in the background. To think that I would do meth. Is pretty shit. I mean weed yea. But meth..FUCK OFF.

I hate drugs immensely. If there was a more decent word than hate I would use it. I have no money to spend on drugs. Let alone know anyone who does P. Im not going to go into details just saying its stupid.

UNDECIDED

Well the title says how I feel right now. The olds found out I dont really wanna do my course anymore and decided to talk to me about it. Talking with the olds is shit as aye.

Ex decided to once again go through my computer, and again blame me for having sex with people. Its annoying, but wasn't surprising its what he does best. I feel hacked off at the moment. All day its crying and yelling. I hate pressure and I have having to change for people.

Mum thinks Im on drugs to. But I dont want to tell her why I dont sleep well and why I have changed so much. I cant just tell them that I met someone and really liked them but you guys didnt get to meet him because he died. Lol they will either believe me or not. Im guessing not. They will think that was a waste of time then wasnt it. Even the ex was having fun saying you just went into his room aye. You gave him a handjob. Not my problem hes gone. You know shit that you just dont say about someone. Asking if he was drunk driving the car etc.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Seriously

Well yesterday my ex went through my history on lappy seriously he shouldnt have... Found out I go on a chat site for swingers.. I dont have the intentions of doing anything on it.. Just wanted to see what it was like. Actually makes me laugh. Some weird as people in New zealand seriously.

Anyways the ex had a go at me because he thinks I want other people.. Or that that I meeting people off that site.. For one ewwwwwww lol and second I only have feelings for a guy who is not on this earth anymore. So yea good luck to anyone else. :)..

Should I be hard on him? Or is he right? I know what Im doing and I know what I want. Doing something for me is either because Im bored or Im curious to see what happens.. Its not about the attention. Everytime anything comes up about guys. I straight away think of other guy. Its not that I want to think about him but for once I had met someone I could actually enjoy time with, talk to and just be myself around. Its hard to find that these days. Especially ones as hot as (other guy) hahaha and he was only a few years older than me.. Im like Fark really. Did you have to go. Lol.. Grrrrr.

I dont know what to say to the ex. He knows how I feel about meeting people, He doesnt care that I had feelings for other guy. I just dont know why hes gotta be all up in my business. Seriously lol

I have no damn clue

So he (the ex) comes around expecting me to know that he has made plans for Sunday. Nice to be psychic and all??

He wanted to go to the movies today (this morning) but then got told he has work so he decides to do that instead. Which is fine, because he needs the money. Even though he still gets paid more than me, but whatever. So he changes the plans again to tonight after work, well my work anyways (at about 8pm). But says oh I dont like going out at night after work, which is a lie because we have been out plenty of times after work and hes never complained before. I dont decide he does. And insists that we go out. So you can see why I'm just a little ticked off.

Lol that bit is funny because he said he wanted to plan a fun night for us since he has work. I dont really want to hang out with him tonight. Too much hassle if he hasn't planned anything. I'm not bothered. I offered to do it tomorrow even didn't mind when. But he was just like no and then decides to tell me "oh I will just have to meet my friend from Hamilton when they are up next time. I'm upset by this point because, you dont just make up shit and dont do it, you know what I mean.

Now by this point I'm having a tiny tear tear moment because a) plans have changed a lot b) wasting my time c) some people should tell others they have plans d) lack of sleep....

I dont want to go to movies tomorrow if he has planned something with someone else. I dont care that it's a she. I care that he couldn't tell me properly that he had plans for tomorrow. I offer to go next week. But he says we can go tomorrow morning. Is now put off going to the movies at all. Soooo what should I do??
Am over being told shit and then not doing it. Its good to see the ex can stick to one plan but mess me around in the mean time.